Well, basically it is true if I drag it to the top and throw it out there. At least this is what I came to know about myself when I last week participated in something called UGL (understanding group and leader) which is a weeklong course in leadership and development of groups.
Now, don’t get me wrong I’m not a complete cynic as such and I do actually trust people, although it takes quite a bit of time before I let people inside since I have these walls up to not let people I don’t know in so they might hurt me. The cynic I met within myself was a snapshot of what I was feeling right then and there and not a true estimate of personality, but yes, I was distant and not showing much emotion during the process. My classmates agreed and I don’t blame them, I actually think they are right to some extent, and that has made me realize that I actually need to open up and step outside my comfort zone and see if I’m, as I believe deep down, going to get hurt in one way or another. Yep, I got terrible self-confidence on a personal level – professionally not quite the same 🙂
The few days that has passed since has been hard. Not much sleeping and a lot of thinking about what I have learnt over the passed week. I’ve gotten good tools to develop groups, I’ve gotten good tools develop new relationships as well, now I need execute the same and not be scared. Some of the classmates really wanted me to open up so I’m trying – to them. We’ll see where I end up with it. Hopefully a more happy and content Mattias that doesn’t believe everyone is out to hurt me (paranoid much?)
The image? Apart from the snow – this is where I spent the most part of the week.
Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans. Next Post:
Akamai Edge 2014